"...the X-Men franchise should never have ended on such a dreary note..."

X-Men Finale is Not a Dazzler

(060819) And so it ends, not with a bang and not even with a whimper. Instead, the once-proud X-Men franchise ends in muted repose, rendered comatose by the shockingly bland and startlingly bad Dark Phoenix.

While it never sinks to the nadir of X-Men Origin Wolverine or X-Men Apocalypse or X-Men: The Last Stand, it's not far away. Dark Phoenix is like Smokey and the Bandit 3, when even Burt Reynolds knew enough was enough and bailed before filming got underway. Dark Phoenix is like A View to a Kill, the 007 entry in which poor Roger Moore needed a walker more than he needed another shag with a Bond girl. Dark Phoenix is like Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach, so feeble that it couldnít even keep series star Steve Guttenberg in its clutches. Wait, scratch that: Nothing is as bad as those Police Academy movies.

The point is that the X-Men franchise should never have ended on such a dreary note. X-Men, X2, X-Men First Class, X-Men Days of Future Past ó all excellent, and all indicators that this was that rare franchise with more highs than lows. None of that counts for naught in the face of Dark Phoenix. In comic lore, the Dark Phoenix saga is one of the greats, and X-Men: The Last Stand botched the assignment when it tried to transfer it to the multiplex. Dark Phoenix is yet another stab at the same material, and it mangles the task even more horribly than its predecessor.

Of course, X-Men: The Last Stand was one of the films that featured the X-Men as adults, whereas Dark Phoenix arrives as part of the reboot that imagines the characters as younger versions of themselves. Thanks to inspired writing and spot-on performances, this worked beautifully in X-Men First Class and X-Men Days of Future Past, but some ill-advised casting and lack of depth in the characterizations turned X-Men Apocalypse and now Dark Phoenix into basically Muppet Babies X-Men, as Sophie Turner (Jean Grey/Phoenix), Tye Sheridan (Scott Summers/Cyclops) and Alexandra Shipp (Ororo Munroe/Storm) fail to capture the essence of their iconic characters (only Kodi Smit-McPhee as Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler seems likely to morph into the older version of himself, the one played by Alan Cumming in X2).

As before, Jean Grey is exposed to extra-terrestrial elements that transform her from the heroic Phoenix into the villainous Dark Phoenix, and itís up to the others to either save her or destroy her. Those who seek to assist her include Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) and Raven/Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence), while those who want to off her include Eric Lehnsherr/Magneto (Michael Fassbender) and Hank McCoy/Beast (Nicholas Hoult). Entering the proceedings as a wild card is the alien evildoer Vuk (a dull Jessica Chastain), who hopes to absorb Jeanís newfound powers and use them for her own nefarious purposes.

Even when the results are as accomplished as those in Avengers: Endgame or the Star Trek reboots, itís becoming increasingly irksome to watch all these alternate reality storylines that basically wipe away years of investment in earlier movies and their attendant characters. Thatís most pronounced in Dark Phoenix, since weíre now made to accept that X-Men: The Last Stand never existed. Yet Famke Janssenís turn as Jean Grey was worthy of our sympathies as to the heroineís fate, a condition gravely missing from this latest rendition. Turner is a colorless Phoenix, and with little built-up back-story to this new interpretation of the role, nothingís really at stake.

Jean isnít the only character to receive rough treatment. Inexplicably, Charles Xavier has been refashioned as a self-centered glory hound who craves public adulation and thinks nothing of tampering with the minds of his young charges. As for Mystique, sheís largely a non-entity here, although thatís more on Lawrence than even on the scripters. Rarely have I seen a performer so bored with her role ó if you squint really hard, you can probably spot her in the background of various scenes checking her watch repeatedly.

On the plus side, thereís Fassbender, whoís probably just as bored as Lawrence and McAvoy but does a better job of masking it. Thereís also an extended battle aboard a train that provides the expected action in satisfactory style. Otherwise, Dark Phoenix is a dour and depressing disappointment. The X-Men franchise may yet rise again from the ashes, but for now, itís still being administered its last rites. Itís hard to know what the performers could have accomplished would the material not so depressed and half-hearted. But so much goes so wrong so quickly with Dark Phoenix that the wasted onscreen talent is the least of the movieís concerns. Itís a sad way to end a franchise of merit, especially with the shadow of Logan still stretching so deep. Maybe the MCU can make a third attempt at the Dark Phoenix saga the charm. Until then, weíre left sifting through the ashes and marveling at what may be gone for good.

Directed by:   Simon Kinberg
Written by:   Screenplay by Simon Kinberg. Based on the Marvel Comics characters and stories by Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, Chris Claremont & John Byrne
Starring:   James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence
Released:   060719
Length:   113 minutes
Rating:    Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action including some gunplay, disturbing images, and brief strong language

X-MEN DARK PHOENIX ©  2019 20th Century Fox Pictures
Review © 2019 Alternate Reality, Inc.