Well, that was a big ass bucket of nothing!

(090417) “Batman: The Animated Series” is one of the seminal animated creations of the nineties and is still considered a quintessential depiction of Batman. It’s a masterpiece of animation and meticulous storytelling. The voice work by Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill as Batman and Joker are so definitive, that some fans can’t possibly imagine either character on screen without either actor portraying them. Here we are in 2017 with Bruce Timm reviving his animated version of “Batman” and what do we get? A very long gag involving Harley Quinn farting in the Batmobile as Batman sniffs it in with pleasure, all the while Nightwing retches in the side seat. This is the bar of “quality” we get with “Batman and Harley Quinn.”

Basically director Sam Liu and writers Bruce Timm and Jim Kreig’s Batman and Harley Quinn is a reworked/stretched out remake of the Batman: The Animated Series episode “Harlequinade.” That 1994 episode concerned Batman freeing Harley from Arkham to help him track down The Joker who had stolen a nuclear bomb with the intent of blowing up Gotham. This time around, Ms. Quinzel is on the straight-and-narrow, but Batman (and Nightwing) still needs her help to track down Poison Ivy after she teams up with the Floronic Man (Kevin Michael Richardson) with a scheme to turn every human into a plant.

Strangely, the 68-minute feature (minus credits) is a talky little caper, with time enough for two full-length musical numbers in a dive bar but little time for actual character development or introspection. The picture takes a bit to find its groove, as this is essentially the first Batman: The Animated Series movie/episode since Mystery of the Batwoman back in 2003. Even Kevin Conroy, who never stopped voicing this character, seems initially ill-at-ease playing this Batman in this world.

At its core, this is a two-part episode of The New Batman Adventures slowed down to 0.75 speed so as to make it past the magical 65-minute mark to qualify as a feature. The film is choppy, disjointed and alternating between talky and oddly silent (there are expository dialogue exchanges where you’d swear folks forgot their lines and had to wing it to safety). Part of the issue is that, quite frankly, Batman and Nightwing (Loren Lester) are jerks this time around.

Batman especially is abrasive, cold and rather unsympathetic to a former enemy gone straight, while Nightwing can’t decide whether to belittle or have sex with her. The film tries to offer a story about Harley being undervalued and sexualized by the men around her, even as the movie goes all-in on the male gaze right from the start.

While those two Caped Crusader actors return to voice their defining roles, Melissa Rauch (Big Bang Theory) voices Harley Quinn while Paget Brewster (Criminal Minds) voices Poison Ivy. They are both good actors, but considering the nostalgia-driven nature of this project I can only wonder why Arleen Sorkin and Diane Pershing weren’t brought back. If Julie Newmar can voice Catwoman in Return of the Caped Crusaders…

And the picture does toe the line between being its own thing and being a kind of love letter to the Harley Quinn character and the legacy of Batman: The Animated Series. There is a wonderful second act bit where our heroes waltz into a dive bar for villains, and every single extra is a minor villain or henchman/henchwoman from a Batman: The Animated Series episode. Now, several of these characters (like Two Face’s freckled henchmen or Captain Clown) died in their respective episode, but just go with it. And I liked a phone call with Booster Gold as well.

While the picture earns its PG-13 via adult language and lots of first-act sexual content (including a few “no big deal” gay insinuations), it is rather light on action and violence. The film wants to be more of a detective story than an action spectacular, even if the “mystery” component essentially boils down to asking a source for an address, but there is too much expositional dialogue and awkward comedic beats in place of adventure.

The picture doesn’t offer Batman or Nightwing at their best, and it’s a little odd that Poison Ivy would feel conflicted about the violence she is unleashing and threatening to unleash, but Rauch tries her best to save the film through sheer force of will. This Harley is totally disconnected from the Joker (he is barely referenced at all) and walking a tightrope between a more adult interpretation and the TV-Y7 figure of evil fun that we first met back in September of 1992. More screen time between her and Brewster's Poison Ivy would have helped immensely.

Batman and Harley Quinn is a slight entry into the DCAU library, but that is its intent. I wish the pacing was tighter, and I wish there was more of an emotional ending, rather than what amounts to an abrupt punch line. I again wonder how much of Batman: The Animated Series’ inherent goodness (especially in terms of not making Batman into a jerk) was due to Bruce Timm and friends not being able to go as “hardcore” as they might have liked due to Fox’s standards and practices at the time. But that’s a conversation for another day. I can’t help thinking that “Harlequinade” did it better, 23 years ago and in just 20 minutes..