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ZEROIDS #1 |
Writer:
Aaron Shaps Artists:
Roberto Castro and Graig Henderson |
Reviewer:
"Sweet" Dan Sweet
|
Publisher:
Moonstone Comics
Shipped On:
082510
|
MSRP:
$3.99 each
(15% OFF during it's 1st Week of release only at Alternate Reality!)
|
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MOONSTONE'S SYNOPSIS:
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Dangerous aliens. Flesh-eating zombies. Smokin' hot sorority babes. These aren't
your daddy's robots! It's true what they say: they just don't make 'em like they
used to. After spending decades in space, five incredible robots, the Zeroids,
return to Earth during humanity's darkest hour. Their mission: to defend our
world from a race of insidious alien energy vampires. The Zeroids are all that
stand between mankind and an alien-engineered zombiegeddon - but before they can
help us, the Zeroids must first enlist the help of a U.S. Air Force ace and a
beautiful Cornell sorority co-ed. With a regular cover by Chris Short and a
zombie cover by Mark Sparacio. |
SWEET DAN'S REVIEW:
|
I had no idea what a “Zeroid” was going to be, and
the cover, well gah(!), it did little to clue me in as far as what to expect,
but if you can get past the obscure back-story and the non-descript cover (The
cover is literally six words: “Zeroids: The Return Of American Metal”, WTF?!)
there’s a gem buried somewhere deep inside this turd-like wrapping, and it’s
worth discovering.
“The original sales pitch for the toy this comic adapts read: "Moving across the landscape, overrunning all
obstacles as inexorably as the Future itself, these amazing, efficient and
powerful automatons have but one purpose - to serve their masters at work and
play!" (Thanks, Wikipedia”) I thought about that for about thirty seconds before
I came to the conclusion that these were little more than toy slaves. Think
about it, “…serve their masters at work and play”? That’s a slave if I’ve ever
heard one, and I don’t particularly have a problem with that, I mean it’s an
odd-ball late-Sixties concept that didn’t make it past the Seventies, who cares?
But how were they going to make a children’s line of slave-toys a comic book
worth caring about?!
Zombies seem to be that “it” plot device, whenever you have a story that you’re
not quite sure you can tell, just add zombies, shake, and start writing! In
“Zeroids” readers are treated to a whopping three pages of Zeroid origin before
the whole thing dramatically ‘zigs’ right when you expect it to ‘zag’. Cue some
sort of college sorority house where all the chicks are tens and some of them
are pretty good at killing zombies, seriously. SO this is then spliced with
ANOTHER sequence with entirely DIFFERENT characters, a couple of rough and
tumble ARMY GUYS who just so happen to be dealing with their own zombie-related
problems over in Afghanistan.
So where the hell is the Zeroids, for whom the comic is named?! That’s what I
was beginning to wonder, and of course, on the last page, you get your answer.
It’s not very fulfilling, but it’s AN answer, and it should tide you over until
the next issue if the book strikes your fancy…which it should. I mean, aside
from some really poor dialogue between the two Army dudes, who could have passed
for teenage boys simply by how they were supposed to be speaking to one another,
everything was “dude” or “Adult Swim”, blah blah blah…seriously at one point one
addresses the other, during a combat situation with “Word.” Now I’m all for
real-sounding dialogue between my characters, but this was like a bad B.E.T.
sitcom playing out in army fatigues.
Roberto Castro and Craig Henderson do a great job of retaining a consistent look
throughout the story, even as it takes drastic changes in tone and such as it
moves along. The back-up story sequence is in black and white, with some muted
tones for effect, and that’s cool, because it played of the bright colors of the
rest of the story quite nicely. I thought that the characters and the action
were all in capable hands, even if the story jumped around a bit. Don’t get me
wrong, I’m not complaining about the book, because I found the story to be one
of the best I’ve ever read from Moonstone and their collection of licensed
properties…I just wish it had a bit more focus. |
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SPIDER-GIRL END #1 |
Writers:
Tom DeFalco & Ron Frenz Artist:
Sal Buscema |
Reviewer:
"Sweet" Dan Sweet
|
Publisher:
Marvel Comics
Shipped On:
082510
|
MSRP:
$3.99 each
(15% OFF during it's 1st Week of release only at Alternate Reality!)
|
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MARVEL'S SYNOPSIS:
|
THIS IS IT! In a story spanning the history of the MC2 Universe, witness the
battle you've been waiting for as Mayday Parker takes on her own clone, April!
The fate of the Parker family hangs in the balance -- and so does an entire
universe! The last stand of the Amazing Spider-Girl is here! |
SWEET DAN'S REVIEW:
|
Oh, Spider-Girl, how you’ve made it this far, I have
no idea. At long last the long-running “Spider-Girl” series has come to an end,
“The End” actually, and although writer Tom DeFalco would have everyone believe
that this is some sort of cruel injustice purported against Mayday Parker fans,
I think it’s a rather fitting nail in a coffin that’s been a long-time coming. I
didn’t care for the idea when it first presented itself a decade or so ago, and
as such I was careful to avoid the series that followed at all costs. Don’t get
me wrong, I understand the appeal of a 90’s-feeling book starring the daughter
of a married Peter and MJ, but it didn’t carry that same allure for me that it
did for its most fervent fans.
Fast-forward about ten or so years, and after being cancelled, un-cancelled, and
then cancelled again, Spider-Girl fans are set to discover just what happens to
May Parker (no, not the old one). I gotta say, for my first “Spider-Girl” story,
I was pleasantly surprised. Sure, it subscribed to EVERY thing about 90’s-era
comics that I didn’t care for, right down to Sal Buscema’s art, which is still
surprisingly consistent as ever, but as far as the story was concerned it really
managed to pull me in, even without the benefit of being a long-time fan.
Basically Mayday Parker has a clone, appropriately called Mayhem (*yawn*), who
managed to find herself a symbiote, and using it to fight crime in a very
Punisher-esque way she becomes an arch-nemesis of sorts for our heroine. During
one specific encounter Mayday sacrifices her life to save Mayhem; Mayhem redeems
herself by going on a murderous rampage, since that’s all she really knows how
to do. She tried inserting herself into Mayday’s life, but is caught, and she
makes a break for it. Time passes, and as a result of her actions (killing a
bunch of good guys and bad guys) the government sends a bunch of
Carnage-infected symbiote Mercenaries after her…which results in some wacky
time-travel stuff…and wouldn’t ya know, Mayday’s back and better than ever!
Sal Buscema is a legitimate legacy of an artist, and while his art style
doesn’t REALLY do anything for me, it’s impossible to check out his work without
marveling at how amazingly consistent he’s been. Sure, he doesn’t get AS MUCH
work at the House of Ideas as he used to, but when he does he makes the most out
of it. His connection to the Spider-Man family of titles is unmatched, and as
such he puts a great deal of emotion into this farewell issue; it’s impressive
to see such dynamic story-telling ability from such an old dog…and these aren’t
exactly ‘new’ tricks, but his work does make me smile in a ‘reminiscing about
the old days’ sort of way. |
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X-MEN CURSE OF MUTANTS BLADE #1 |
Writer:
Duane Swiercznski Artist:
Tim Green |
Reviewer:
"Sweet" Dan Sweet
|
Publisher:
Marvel Comics
Shipped On:
082510
|
MSRP:
$3.99 each
(15% OFF during it's 1st Week of release only at Alternate Reality!)
|
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MARVEL'S SYNOPSIS:
|
Someone... something... is killing vampire slayers all over the world. Blade,
the biggest, baddest slayer of them all, gathers an emergency assault team to
blitz the bloodsucker underground and force answers out of whoever's not reduced
to a pile of smoking ash. But Blade's not going to like what he hears. A new
dawn is rising for the vampire nation. The rules are about to be rewritten, and
Blade's about to go to fang-to-fang with a new threat he knows he can't fight
alone... |
SWEET DAN'S REVIEW:
|
If I have one last request before my brain gets
sucked out of my head through my ears by unseen forces, it would have to be
this: No. More. Mutants vs Vampires stories. With that said, this book works,
albeit with a rather tumultuous back-story involving the second son of Dracula
who murders his father to empower the vampire race. Swiercznski manages to tell
a rather hip and entertaining Blade story, seemingly before the guy becomes an
unofficial X-Man in “X-Men” #2, uniting the half-man, half-vampire with a few
other slayers in hopes of attack the vamps when they least expect it.
But they always expect it, don’t they? That’s why the issue has conflict,
because after a whirlwind tour of slayers and a daytime assault on the undead,
if the bad guys didn’t see the good guys coming from a mile away then there
would be NO suspense, no chance of defeat, and no real reason to read this book.
Luckily Duane manages to squeeze in a lil’ bit of all of the above, and the
result: a pretty dang-gone depressing tale in which everyone whose name isn’t on
the cover bites it (no pun intended), and even the main character only sneaks
away by the hair on his ass.
Blade and his buddies, a rag-tag bunch of slayers from around the world, band
together to deal with the looming threat that is the vampire Xarus, and of
course the results are bloody and satisfying, for the most part. Lots of people
get torn to pieces, lots of vampires get staked, or meet with some other
despicable end, but the real pay-off comes immediately before the fight, when
all the vamps appear, ready for action, in broad daylight. This complicates
matters a great deal for the guy who used to be called The Daywalker, and if all
vampires are day walkers now, how are we to weed them out and maintain a safe
distance?
The vamps plan is, apparently, kill all the slayers and then assimilate mutants
into the blood-sucker bandwagon. Powerful prey equals more powerful vampires,
and if Blade isn’t able to get to San Francisco in time to warn the largest
population of mutants anywhere in the world, well, things might get nasty. Of
course, since this shipped a good two or three weeks AFTER “X-Men” #2, we
already know that he’s successful in that mission, which makes the conclusion of
this issue a tad anti-climactic, but whatever. I still had a good time reading
it.
The art is going to be hit or miss with a lot of people. Me, I didn’t mind it. I
thought that Tim Green did a great job with the storytelling aspects, although
there were a couple of large panels with very distant views that should have
been broken up into smaller, closer panels. Other than that his character
designs and his handle on the action was really impressive, and I’d actually
look forward to more from him, if he’s given a shot. It’s not the stylized art
of McNiven, or Yu, and it’s not as clean as some people would like, but if
definitely has an edge to it…got my point? |
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SHADOWLAND BLOOD ON STREETS #1 (of 4) |
Writer:
Antony Johnston Artist:
Wellinton Alves |
Reviewer:
"Sweet" Dan Sweet
|
Publisher:
Marvel Comics
Shipped On:
081110
|
MSRP:
$3.99 each
(15% OFF during it's 1st Week of release only at Alternate Reality!)
|
|
MARVEL'S SYNOPSIS:
|
Striking from the pages of Shadowland, four cult-favorite heroes rise into the
spotlight: Silver Sable...Paladin...Misty Knight...The Shroud! Is a rogue
faction of Daredevil's ninjas secretly targeting the mafia? With DD's dark
castle looming over the city, has The Man Without Fear finally lost his mind?
This twisted murder mystery ensnares a quartet of vastly different
operatives--but will it unite them, or place them in each other's crosshairs?
Can this controversial crew put aside their differences before a war between The
Hand and the mob sets New York ablaze? Join Antony Johnston (DAREDEVIL) and
Wellinton Alves (THUNDERBOLTS) for a bloody tour down the mean streets of
Shadowland! |
SWEET DAN'S REVIEW:
|
If I have one last request before my brain gets
sucked out of my head through my ears by unseen forces, it would have to be
this: No. More. Mutants vs Vampires stories. With that said, this book works,
albeit with a rather tumultuous back-story involving the second son of Dracula
who murders his father to empower the vampire race. Swiercznski manages to tell
a rather hip and entertaining Blade story, seemingly before the guy becomes an
unofficial X-Man in “X-Men” #2, uniting the half-man, half-vampire with a few
other slayers in hopes of attack the vamps when they least expect it.
But they always expect it, don’t they? That’s why the issue has conflict,
because after a whirlwind tour of slayers and a daytime assault on the undead,
if the bad guys didn’t see the good guys coming from a mile away then there
would be NO suspense, no chance of defeat, and no real reason to read this book.
Luckily Duane manages to squeeze in a lil’ bit of all of the above, and the
result: a pretty dang-gone depressing tale in which everyone whose name isn’t on
the cover bites it (no pun intended), and even the main character only sneaks
away by the hair on his ass.
Blade and his buddies, a rag-tag bunch of slayers from around the world, band
together to deal with the looming threat that is the vampire Xarus, and of
course the results are bloody and satisfying, for the most part. Lots of people
get torn to pieces, lots of vampires get staked, or meet with some other
despicable end, but the real pay-off comes immediately before the fight, when
all the vamps appear, ready for action, in broad daylight. This complicates
matters a great deal for the guy who used to be called The Daywalker, and if all
vampires are day walkers now, how are we to weed them out and maintain a safe
distance?
The vamps plan is, apparently, kill all the slayers and then assimilate mutants
into the blood-sucker bandwagon. Powerful prey equals more powerful vampires,
and if Blade isn’t able to get to San Francisco in time to warn the largest
population of mutants anywhere in the world, well, things might get nasty. Of
course, since this shipped a good two or three weeks AFTER “X-Men” #2, we
already know that he’s successful in that mission, which makes the conclusion of
this issue a tad anti-climactic, but whatever. I still had a good time reading
it.
The art is going to be hit or miss with a lot of people. Me, I didn’t mind it. I
thought that Tim Green did a great job with the storytelling aspects, although
there were a couple of large panels with very distant views that should have
been broken up into smaller, closer panels. Other than that his character
designs and his handle on the action was really impressive, and I’d actually
look forward to more from him, if he’s given a shot. It’s not the stylized art
of McNiven, or Yu, and it’s not as clean as some people would like, but if
definitely has an edge to it…got my point? |
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X-MEN CURSE OF MUTANTS STORM & GAMBIT #1 |
Writer:
Chuck Kim Artist:
Chris Bachalo |
Reviewer:
"Sweet" Dan Sweet
|
Publisher:
Marvel Comics
Shipped On:
082510
|
MSRP:
$3.99 each
(15% OFF during it's 1st Week of release only at Alternate Reality!)
|
|
MARVEL'S SYNOPSIS:
|
As an army of vampires descends on San Francisco, the X-Men find themselves in
dire straights. The good news is that they may have just discovered a means for
stemming the invasion. The bad news? What they need is in the clutches of the
vampires themselves. Luckily, the X-Men have two thieves in their employ that
may just be able pull off such a heist. Hold on to your wooden stakes,
X-Fans...STORM and GAMBIT are in for a bumpy ride! |
SWEET DAN'S REVIEW:
|
Oh joy! The Vampire invasion continues, and Marvel
Comics is riding this trend with shameless persistence with similar stories
transpiring in two separate universes, AT THE SAME TIME! I reviewed “Ultimate
Avengers 3” #1 not too long ago, and since I wasn’t turned on by THAT display of
fang-fascination I opted to skip the entire “Curse of the Mutants” epic that
Victor Gischler cooked up to help relaunch the adjectiveless-X-book. As far as
I’m concerned this was just some half-baked tie-in that was thrown together at
the last minute, offering very little in the way of anything NEW, or DIFFERENT
about the title characters, instead opting to play up old-stuff that we’ve seen
a million times. Only THIS time there’s VAMPIRES! Ooh!
Storm and Gambit are thieves, remember? They used to steal everything that
wasn’t tied down, and as such they’re called upon to utilize their breaking and
entering skills to abscond with the body of the recently deceased Count Dracula.
Sounds easy enough, right? Wrong, because there’s vampires guarding it; vampires
that look so indistinguishably similar to one another, nearly featureless, that
they barely caused me to raise an eyebrow as to why I should view them as a
threat. I guess there are classes of vampires, but once you’re in a class you
look just like everyone else around you…or something; anyway, it made for a
less-than-exciting visual dynamic when it came to action.
Speaking of action, there’s a fair bit of it in this issue, and as with all
X-related books there’s a wee-bit of melodrama to even things out. As the eldest
son of Dracula, the one who didn’t murder his dad, Janus, goes about assisting
the Children of the Atom against his people in hopes of returning his father to
life…un-life? Un-death? I don’t know, but he alludes to his father’s constant
longing after Storm, “the one that got away.” Some vampires die, Janus
disappears, Storm makes some hard choices, the X-Men save the day…cue curtain.
The really disappointing thing about this issue is how TERRIBLE the art
was…which is peculiar, because Chris Bachalo, whom some might say is an acquired
taste, is typically a phenomenal penciller. So I did a little digging, okay, I
turned back to the credits at the beginning of the book, but what I discovered
pissed me off. There were SEVEN people inking the guy’s pencils this issue. One
was Tim Townsend, and that would account for why SOME of the pages in the issue
are beautiful and others are complete travesties. Seriously some of the panels
aren’t even legible and look like they were rushed to meet a deadline.
My question to the powers-that-be would have to be: “What’s the point of getting
a high-profile artist if you’re only going to poop on his work?” The Bachalo
name carries with it a certain reputation, and I couldn’t imagine being him and
seeing his work completely butchered the way it is in this issue. Why not wait
another week, maybe two…and pop this turd out when you don’t have three other
books with the same banner shipping that week. These mini-events have very
quickly gotten out of hand; the number of tie-ins’ one would be expected to keep
up with is astounding. Seriously guys, anybody listening, vote with your dollar
and show these guys that they should be able to tell a story without
force-feeding us fifteen extra titles a month! |
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GUARDING THE GLOBE #1 (OF 6) |
Writers:
Kirkman and Benito Cereno Artist:
Ransom Getty |
Reviewer:
"Sweet" Dan Sweet
|
Publisher:
Image Comics
Shipped On:
082510
|
MSRP:
$3.99 each
(15% OFF during it's 1st Week of release only at Alternate Reality!)
|
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IMAGES SYNOPSIS:
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As the VILTRUMITE WAR rages on within the pages of INVINCIBLE, the ranks of the
Guardians of the Globe are suddenly depleted. The world is in danger, and the
team is in search of new blood. It's the biggest recruitment drive since
Omni-Man slaughtered the original members. But will the new Guardians of the
Globe be ready in time to stop The Order? This series is a can't-miss action
extravaganza! |
SWEET DAN'S REVIEW:
|
All hail, KIRKMAN! No, seriously, comic book fans
everywhere should be praying to an altar of this guy before they leave the comic
store every Wednesday. Nobody, as of this moment, is doing MORE for independent
comic books than Rob, and his passion for his characters and the medium as a
whole could never be more obvious. I enjoy his projects almost without
exception. Say what you want about his tenure on the Ultimate Marvel series of
titles, but when allowed to work within the context of his own universes,
without editorial mandate to interfere, he’s a maniacal genius, wreaking havoc
with abstract abandon the likes I haven’t seen in ages. His books make me feel
like a kid again.
If you’ve ever read Kirkman’s “Invincible” than you should already know who the
Guardians of the Globe are, and if even if you haven’t read the ‘greatest
super-hero comic book in the universe’ you probably get the gist of the idea
simply from the title. A collection of heroes from around the globe consider it
their responsibility to guard those of us who can’t defend ourselves from giant
robots, or aliens, or whatever really. The team debuted in “Invincible” #7, and
though it’s seen many team members leave, die, or become otherwise
incapacitated, The Guardians of the Globe are only just NOW becoming a
world-wide force for good.
The team goes about recruiting potential members, and they start in China as
Britt, team leader, gets the drop on Yeti, a character that teasers would have
you believe is keeping some sort of strange secret. There’re bad guys too,
although I’d be hard-pressed to fill you in on what they’re up to; so far it
seems they’re putting their own kind of squad together, of course the likelihood
of the two teams butting heads is inevitable. Even as I write this I’m actually
looking forward to the next issue; there’s something extremely refreshing about
a book, even a super-hero book, that doesn’t take itself too seriously, and
luckily Kirkman’s just the guy to spearhead something like this.
Ransom Getty was discovered by Kirkman after sending a pin-up to “Invincible”,
so if you’re an artist out there and you’re looking for your BIG break, maybe
it’s time to start drawing pin-ups and send them into Image (or some other Indy
publisher)…you never know right? His style is in the vein of “Invincible”
artists like Cory Walker or Ryan Ottley, which makes him a perfect fit for a
book like this. It feels right; his ability to bring out the humanity, even in a
giant, hairy, white, abominable snow-man is easily relatable. Characters like
Shapesmith, Monster Girl, Black Samson, and even Dupli-Kate are rendered
flawlessly, and with a great deal of zeal. I can’t wait to see Getty tackle some
SERIOUS action sequences…maybe even extend the book beyond the initial six-issue
run?! |
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WHISPERS IN WALLS #1 (OF 6) |
Writer:
David Munoz Artist:
Tirso |
Reviewer:
"Sweet" Dan Sweet
|
Publisher:
Humanoids Inc
Shipped On:
080410
|
MSRP:
$3.99 each
(15% OFF during it's 1st Week of release only at Alternate Reality!)
|
|
HUMANOIDS SYNOPSIS:
|
A gothic tale of horror from David Muñoz (co-writer of Guillermo Del Toro's The
Devil's Backbone film). Czechoslovakia. 1949. What evil lurks within the walls
of an ancient children's infirmary? A young girl named Sarah hopes that by
discovering this secret she will unravel the mystery of her parents' murder. |
SWEET DAN'S REVIEW:
|
What I thought was just going to be another exercise
in period-piece horror story surprised the crap out of me, and instead turned
out to be a rather exciting period-piece mystery with serious horror-story
undertones, although nothing that jumps right out at you, screaming ‘Boo!” Set
during 1949, a few years after the end of the Second World War, in what could
only be described as the worst Czechoslovakian orphanage in the world, a girl
named Sarah awakens to find herself in some sort of laboratory. She’s not alone,
there are doctors anxiously keeping an eye on her due to some sort of condition,
as well as the fact that her entire family was devoured by some sort of
monster…oh, and there’s a possibility that the head doctor running the orphanage
has been around for a few hundred years. Weird, right?
There’s not a whole lot to give away, some speculation and conjecture, sure, but
nothing solid that will give you an idea as to what to expect from this title. I
had a lot of fun reading it, and the art is awesome, and while the mysteries
were plentiful, layered ever so subtly, I never got a feeling of urgency from
the book, which is something that is almost a necessity when reading a horror
story of any sort. Along the way readers are introduced to a few other children
who’ve been forced to live under the watchful eye of the research scientists
that run the facility, all of whom are supposed carriers of some sort of virus.
What virus? I don’t really know, but if I had to guess I’d say it’s something in
the ballpark of vampire/werewolf/monster mutagen that transforms the children
into nasty, snarling, hairy beasts. What leads me to that conclusion? A few
things in the story point to supernatural elements; there’s also a point were
some red-eyed something or other eats a bird. I know, that doesn’t sound like
much of a clue but believe me, it is. I’m fascinated by this series, primarily
because I’ve never heard of the company, or the creators, and altogether it’s
one of the more complete visions I’ve taken the time to enjoy. The story is
creepy, interesting, and above all original enough. The art compliments the
story in almost every way; the action and characters flow together seamlessly
like some sort of an animated project, and it’s that look that really plays to
the moody strength of the book.
Humanoids is an American off-shoot of a French publishing company known as Les
Humanoides Associes, originally started by French artists Moebius, Phillipe
Druillet, and Jean-Pierre Dionnet in order to launch the ‘anthology comic book
magazine “Metal Hurlant”. With Humanoids, the company is looking to bring their
particular style of genre fiction to the states, injecting a dose of
Euro-sensibility to the world of funny-books. I thought that this first outing,
on our shores anyway, was a tremendous success, and while the preview at the end
for “Unfabulous Five” was certainly not my thing, I will continue to check with
this (not-so) fledgling companion a somewhat regular basis now, anxiously
awaiting not only the next issue of “Whispers in the Walls”, but whatever other
cool, insightful, boundary-pushing ideas they choose to explore. |
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NAMOR FIRST MUTANT #1 |
Writer:
Mark Millar
Artist:
Steve Dillon |
Reviewer:
"Sweet" Dan Sweet
|
Publisher:
Marvel
Comics
Shipped On:
081110
|
MSRP:
$3.99 each
(15% OFF during it's 1st Week of release only at Alternate Reality!)
|
|
MARVEL'S SYNOPSIS:
|
Spinning out of the pages of X-MEN #1, comes an all-new series starring the
world's first mutant, NAMOR THE SUB-MARINER. When the X-Men are confronted with
a deadly vampire threat, Namor takes matters into his own hands on a mission
that might bring down the entire might of the vampires on their heads...and in
the process, destroy Atlantis! What lurks down below the ocean where the sun
can't reach? What he thought was a fable to scare the children of Atlantis comes
to terrifying life in the form of a newly-discovered race of Atlantean Vampires.
Namor's choice, to stand with Atlantis or the X-Men, will define a new chapter
in his life...or death. |
SWEET DAN'S REVIEW:
|
Ouch! Another stinker in this continuously
disappointing mini-epic that “Curse off the Mutants” is quickly turning out to
be. Did we really need a story about Namor fighting under-sea vamps while
attempting to make off with the carefully guarded head of Count Dracula? If that
sounds almost exactly like the plot of “Storm + Gambit”, well, that’s because it
pretty much is. Either the X-Men are getting into necrophilia, or Cyclops has a
plan to put the old boy back together again…
Alas, it’s NOT necrophilia…so I guess it’s the other thing…which is fine, I
guess, although…never mind. Namor swims around, talks to some old one-eyed lady
that apparently warns him of the looming danger that are the sea-vampires,
called Aqueos, which is only a step up from Butterfly in terms of how scary that
word is supposed to be. Then the King of Atlantis swims around some more, runs
into some of his old peeps, they bicker, and then they go after the head of
Dracula. Things aren’t as easy as they seem and the ‘team’ is attacked by the
Aqueos…OOH, scary!
When things aren’t looking up for old Wing-Foot he opts for a hasty retreat, a
decision that doesn’t sit well with some of the other warriors. Blah, blah,
blah, Namor is King and they’ll do what he says. The end of the issue brings
about an ominous decision by the leader of the Aqueos, and a shallow peace long
held with the utmost regard comes crashing down like a fragile coral reef, or
something. Now the X-Men are fighting Vampires by land AND by sea, watchoutnow!
Ariel Olivetti’s artwork looks lazy. There, I said it. I usually find his style
entertaining, but illustrating an underwater sea world and settling for solid
blue backgrounds in almost every panel was a real downer as far as I’m
concerned. I thought the characters looked rigid and stiff, and while I know
this is often used to illustrate the regal characteristics of Namor, it doesn’t
have to be used to represent EVERYONE who’s floating around in the ocean. I know
business is business, and no one is forcing anyone to buy these extraneous
tie-ins at gun-point, but I’m gonna have to go on the record and say that I
think something smells fishy. |
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MORNING GLORIES #1 |
Writer:
Nick Spencer Artist:
Joe Eisma |
Reviewer:
"Sweet" Dan Sweet
|
Publisher:
Image
Comics
Shipped On:
081110
|
MSRP:
$3.99 each
(15% OFF during it's 1st Week of release only at Alternate Reality!)
|
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IMAGE'S SYNOPSIS:
|
The most anticipated new series of the year starts here! Morning Glory Academy
is one of the most prestigious prep schools in the country... But behind it's
hallowed doors something sinister and deadly lurks. When six brilliant but
troubled new students arrive, they find themselves trapped and desperately
seeking answers in a place where nothing is what it seems to be! |
SWEET DAN'S REVIEW:
|
A book touted as “Runaways meets Lost” meant one of
two very distinct possibilities as far as I was concerned: a) This had potential
to combine two of my favorite genre stories, thus solidifying my adoration
almost immediately; or b) This had potential to combine two of my favorite genre
stories, thus cherry-picking parts from each that felt as if they’d work in
context with one another, and then crash and burn horribly. Well, when I got to
the shop on Wednesday, grabbed one of only two copies left on the shelf (a gross
miscalculation by Comic Book Man, but a forgivable one considering the lack of
attention paid to new series that don’t have the words “New”,
“Blackest/Brightest”, or “X-Whatever” on the cover), and got home I wasn’t sure
if I’ was going to read it first or last (I read it last), but by the time I was
finished with it I was sure of one thing, and one thing only: Best. New. Series.
Of the year.
Everything about this book worked for me in spades; from the first page, which
only seemingly had nothing to do with the rest of the book unless one pays close
attention to the background through out the issue, then it seems entirely too
ominous. The two-page sequences, each introducing a different main character
work wonders in terms of characterization. Each student feels unique, and easy
to relate to in one way or another; you know who you like right away, and whom
you hope to see skewered, smashed, shot, stabbed, or snuffed out (if any of that
is likely to happen). The full-of-herself Zoe, the wall-flower/emo kid Jade, the
irritatingly hilarious Ike, typical every-girl Casey, alpha-male Jun, and the
comic book loving Hunter make up the newest class at Morning Glory Academy.
Welcome to your first day, children. Now prepare for the worst.
The students aren’t the only ones given a chance to shine in the debut issue;
Miss Daramount, Miss Dagney, Mr. Gribbs, the creepy chauffer who drugs the kids
on their way to the school, presumably to keep its location a secret, are all
made out to be authoritarian figures who, while welcoming and ‘warm,’ all have
their own secrets and agendas. Then there’s the ghost. Or, whatever the hell it
actually is, because calling it a ‘ghost’ just doesn’t seem to be right; it’s
probably a wraith, or worse, one of the academy’s students…but all the same,
he/she/it looks like a ghost.
Joe Eisma has worked with Spencer before on the book “Existence 2.0” and it’s
clear that his style has been altered, just a bit, in order to keep with the
slick, stylized look that they’re trying to achieve with “Morning Glories”. I
enjoy greatly his dynamic use of panel-layout to move a rather expository issue
along without feeling as if it was dragging. He does get to flex his action
muscles a bit early on, and nails it, but the rest of the issue he’s able to
make the mundane seem visually fascinating. It’s the details that he adds to
each scene that really pay off: the posture of the student as they sit through
an introductory lecture, the expressive faces of each character, the thorough
attention to backgrounds and environment which add to the atmosphere of Morning
Glory Academy. All of it, inked by Eisma himself, which I’m not usually a fan
of, but done perfectly as to compliment his line-work without fear of over-doing
it; a factor I’m sure came into play when making that particular decision.
I’m a fan of this series, and not just because I’m a fan of “Runaways”, “Lost”,
or any of Spencer’s OTHER works (which I command you to seeks out and enjoy as
much as I did), but because it’s a great way to utilize teen characters, in a
setting that is entirely believable yet ridiculously manufactured, without
losing touch with audiences young and old alike. I’m not sixteen years old, as
all of the stars of the book are supposed to be, but the story isn’t written
with sixteen-year-olds in mind; sure, a kid could pick up the book and enjoy it
for the snotty characters, or the action, or even just the ‘purty-pitchers’, but
an adult (young or otherwise) could pick up the book and become enthralled in a
rather gripping mystery which promises to pay off over time. I’m hoping, and I’m
sure I’m not too far off-base, that this develops a HUGE following, paying off
for a young creator who’s quickly becoming my favorite NEW comic book writer. |
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ULTIMATE COMICS AVENGERS 3 #1 (OF 6) |
Writer:
Mark Millar
Artist:
Steve Dillon |
Reviewer:
"Sweet" Dan Sweet
|
Publisher:
Marvel
Comics
Shipped On:
081110
|
MSRP:
$3.99 each
(15% OFF during it's 1st Week of release only at Alternate Reality!)
|
|
MARVEL'S SYNOPSIS:
|
Blade is back in a bad way and that can only mean one thing: vampires are afoot!
Somebody is leaving behind a bloody trail of bite marks and Blade's stake-ready
to take them on. Could the mysterious figure donned in an iron suit have
something to do with it? And who exactly is the new figure leaping around down
in a devil costume? As the Avengers get deeper into black ops, there's no
telling who'll be thirsting for blood and who'll be next on the menu! |
SWEET DAN'S REVIEW:
|
I’m not sure if it’s an abundance or an
over-reliance on Porphyria, the genetic disease linked with vampirism in the
Marvel Universe, that’s made this previously reliable, albeit reliably
formulaic, series to feel as if it’s jumped the shark, or in this case, the
coffin. I was enjoying the previous chapters, seasons, installments, whatever
the buzz-word is at this point, but something about the story forced my reading
experience to hit a wall. I don’t know if I could put my finger on it; maybe it
was the tonal shift in artistic style from the stylized renderings of Carlos
Pacheo and Lenil Yu to the rather subdued pencils of Steve Dillon, maybe it was
the lack of any real focus, or introduction to a dramatic plot point that would
cause me to come back for more.
Sure, there’s some semblance of a story, with the ever-horny Blade, and the kid
who befalls such a similar fate to Matt Murdock it would be practically a sin to
call him anything other than Daredevil. But neither of these plot points seems
to be remarkable enough to carry the book, and when jammed together it doesn’t
feel as if one naturally compliments the other. Sure, there’s always good, old
fashioned Nick Fury and his misfit super-twins, Hawkeye and Black Widow, but
other than some throw-away lines during the routine team briefing, again, less
than stellar in my opinion.
There’re a couple of surprises, such as who succumbs to the vampire’s kiss by
the end of this issue, but even so it feels like something of a rehash of
something we’ve already seen Millar do with these characters. I did enjoy the
last page ‘cliffhanger’ which was really anything but; I want to know who’s
going to make up this specific team of wet-work ‘Avengers’, so if anything gets
me to read the next issue it’ll be that. Even the title of this issue, “Blade
Versus the Avengers”, feels like false advertising, as neither one appeared in
the same panel at the same time.
Dillon is a modern master. His run on “Preacher” is one of the more critically
acclaimed works of all time, and the way he parlayed that into a gig along side
Ennis on “Punisher” (MAX) was spectacular, defining for a whole new generation
of readers what they should expect from Marvel’s skull-emblazoned vigilante.
That said, I’m not sure how he fits the formula that I’ve seen from Millar. He
comes onto a title along with a top-tier artist, in this case Dillon, which is
fine, but after the first two volumes, runs, arcs, whatever, Dillon’s style
feels like a misstep. Pacheo captured the widescreen look that Millar delivers
without fail; Yu was able to capture the frenzy and pace of the last story, and
his sketchy pencils fit the story about demons, monsters, Satan and all that.
Dillon, if anything, makes the opening scene play out much more like a 70’s
blaxploitation film, which isn’t to say it looks bad, but if feels dated, and
his Daredevil lacks a certain gritty finesse that makes the character work so
well. I love Steve Dillon; I’m just not in love with his work on this title.
Sorry. |
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MURDERLAND #1
|
Writer:
Stephen Scott
Artist:
David Hahn |
Reviewer:
"Sweet" Dan Sweet
|
Publisher:
Image
Comics
Shipped On:
080410
|
MSRP:
$2.99 each
(15% OFF during it's 1st Week of release only at Alternate Reality!)
|
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IMAGE'S SYNOPSIS:
|
"SET THE METHOD DOWN," Part One, Artist DAVID HAHN joins newcomer STEPHEN SCOTT
to tell a story of doomed romance, bloodshed and the outer limits of human
potential, all unfolding on the "complicated" streets of Baltimore, Maryland.
The Arabber is a reformed killer bent on bringing peace to his hometown. Method
is his lover and partner in crime, but she may not be long for The Arabber's
crusade. The first of many genre-bending stories in the MURDERLAND universe. |
SWEET DAN'S REVIEW:
|
“Murderland” is a reference to the city, Baltimore,
Maryland, also known as ‘Body-More, Murderland’, mostly by the people
unfortunate enough to come from there. Made famous for the most part due to its
high crime-rate, and “The Wire”, a television show about Baltimore’s high
crime-rate, ‘Body-More’ isn’t only the setting of the story but almost a
supporting character in and of itself. An “Arabber” is a person who sells wares,
typically produce, from a cart, usually found in urban areas where fresh fruits
and vegetables aren’t as easily available. The character Arabber doesn’t appear
to actually BE an arabber, not by definition anyway. Okay, now that our
vocabulary lesson is concluded, let’s move on.
Arabber and Method are a pair of weapon-wielding weirdoes who kill people, I’m
assuming for money although it’s never specified. Theirs is a love story built
on a solid foundation of mutilated bodies, or at least reliability, because
judging from the results of the first issue they’ve both worked together before
and have a pretty adequate gauge on the other’s abilities. Oh yeah, there’re
super-powers, or so it seems, as Arabber is quickly lacerated at least two-dozen
times by scalpels (I counted!) thrown by a guy who can obviously throw a whole
crap-load of scalpels really, really quickly. He not only lives through it but
maintains witty banter with Method the whole way, even as she uses his already
bloodied body as a human shield.
Method, the chick part of the team is a bit on the weird side herself. She’s an
actress playing an ever-changing part with a new script everyday; I get the
feeling that even Arabber knows less about her than he thinks he does. Half way
through a battle with some douchey bad-guy she grows these ridiculous bone spurs
from her knees and breaks them off in said douchey guy’s shoulders, effectively
pinning him to the wall. She’s a shape-changer, or at least she appears to be,
but the narrator does an inadequate job of preparing the reader for the sudden
tonal shift in the material. I can almost hear the pitch now: “Alright, we’re
gonna start with a pretty sub-standard assassin tale and then we’re gonna kick
it up a notch by suddenly tossing in this ‘super-power’ element. It’s really
gonna come off as an American exercise in Manga story telling, only backwards,
which for us is forwards anyway.”
David Hahn is the only redeemable thing this book has going for it. His simple
style and creative use of panels to help move the momentum along helped me get
through a rather dull example of how NOT to make a new comic. Some of the
character designs, especially the African-American males are very derivative of
what I’ve seen in Mangas ten to fifteen years ago. Very stereotypical
analogue-characters made for a disconnected reading experience, which is why I
can unequivocally denounce this title as one of the more lame-duck indies to
ship this week. |
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NEW MUTANTS FOREVER #1 (OF 5)
|
Writer:
Chris Claremont
Artist:
Al Rio |
Reviewer:
"Sweet" Dan Sweet
|
Publisher:
Marvel
Comics
Shipped On:
080410
|
MSRP:
$3.99 each
(15% OFF during it's 1st Week of release only at Alternate Reality!)
|
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MARVEL'S SYNOPSIS:
|
The third generation of Xavier's pupils is back...like you've never seen them!
New York Times best-selling author and X-Men visionary Chris Claremont returns
to the young mutant heroes he created to turn their lives upside down! Their
headmaster, Magneto, has just joined the Hellfire Club, and now the team faces a
threat so terrible they're willing to join forces with the Black Queen, Selene!
With the stunning pencils of Al Rio, series co-creator Bob McLeod on inks, and
the legendary Bill Sienkiewicz on covers, this is one series no New Mutants fan
should miss! |
SWEET DAN'S REVIEW:
|
This is exactly the kind of derivative, lazy
story-telling that comes from giving a past-his-prime creator his own pocket
universe to play with. On the plus side, Claremont’s hand has been kept
otherwise occupied with his baby “X-Men Forever”, so there’s little for him to
do in the grounded-in-reality, New School of comics writing that’s currently all
the rage over at the House of Ideas. On the other hand, we’re going to have to
sit through Claremont’s own self-idolatry as he elevates the status of his
oft-forgotten plot threads that ran through the million-plus years of comics
he’s written (most of them pre-date his jumping of the proverbial shark).
As he rediscovers his old stomping grounds, trying to breathe life into a day
and time long since passed, his inability to compete in the current comic market
place becomes abundantly clear. His over reliance on old staples of
communication with the reader such as thought balloons, or text boxes, is as
constant as his need to use expository dialogue to a painful degree; every
character’s every line is damn-near monologue length, and woefully similar to
watching a really bad movie – I can’t help but picture each of the characters
standing on a poorly decorated soundstage, blaring trumpets after every sentence
help signify the importance of each statement.
The bottom line is this: if you weren’t a fan of what Chris Claremont did with
the New Mutants, or if you’ve never read a “New Mutants” comic before this, then
you’ll find this to be little more than the latest vapid exercise in the mutant
mercy-killing that is the X-corner of the Marvel U. If you’re familiar with, and
a big fan of Chris Claremont’s “New Mutants” the chances are that you’re already
familiar with the “New Mutants” ongoing series (which also left a bad taste in
my mouth, albeit for different reasons) by writer Zeb Wells, and if you’re
familiar with that series than there’s no reason to buy into this $#!t pile for
nostalgia’s sake.
The art is good, if that’s any sort of redeeming factor. Al Rio’s more than
tolerable, dare I even say talented, but when teamed up with a poop-writer, with
a poop-story, well, the outcome stinks. The composition of the new costumes is
basic, yet different enough that Claremont has to ‘explain’ the change by
attributing it to Illyana’s sudden decision for a change of pace. There are a
couple panels, inked very well by Bob McLeod, that actually end up resembling
something Epting or Cassaday would be alright with putting their own name on.
While the art alone isn’t enough to save this borderline-masturbatory self
indulgence due to all-round crappiness of everything else, it is pretty, and
that should be said, if nothing else. |
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NANCY IN HELL #1 (OF 4)
|
Writer:
El Torres
Artist:
Juan Jose Ryp |
Reviewer:
"Sweet" Dan Sweet
|
Publisher:
Image
Comics
Shipped On:
080410
|
MSRP:
$2.99 each
(15% OFF during it's 1st Week of release only at Alternate Reality!)
|
|
IMAGE'S SYNOPSIS:
|
Good girls go to heaven, right? But it seems like there are no good girls
anymore. After her death, Nancy awakens in a creepy landscape to find
decomposing lost souls, demons lurking in the shadows, outcasts, chainsaws,
booze, and certain doom. Can Nancy escape from Hell? Amazing artist JUAN JOSE
RYP (Black Summer, No Hero) and writer EL TORRES (The Veil) take you on a
white-knuckle tour of the underworld to find out! |
SWEET DAN'S REVIEW:
|
B-movie concept, check; Porno-movie title, check; A
writer and artist combination who understand the difference between
‘in-your-face’ and insanely intriguing, check and double-check. While it may not
be the thought-provoking Eisner-award winning title that some comic-writers
dream of, “Nancy in Hell” is a visually stimulating, and not-unintelligent story
of Nancy, and she’s in hell. That’s about all I can give your as far as the
first issue is concerned; how she lived, and died, aren’t subjects touched upon
at this point, and to be honest I’m not sure how integral they are to the story
just yet.
Sitting spread-eagle in some sleaze bag gin joint, that’s how ALL heroines
should make their debut to the world. Nancy’s not your ‘typical teen’, when
describing herself in horror movie terminology she’s the ‘girl at the end of the
movie’, it’s only through an unfortunate turn of events that she finds herself
damned for all eternity. Her journey through Hell is everything you’d expect it
to be: hot, red, sweaty, sometimes sexual, always dirty, and basically
exhausting. She comes across a couple hot demonic babes, complete with wings and
tail, who either want to eat her or ‘eat her’, I’m not quite sure; there’s the
legions of undead zombies, the souls who’ve too long toiled their time away in
Hell’s fire; oh, and there’s strippers, because well, all strippers, soulless
little sad sacks that they are, go to Hell.
Devil dogs seem to be the threat du’jor on the issue’s menu, as such our heroine
is able to hack away at those nasty little beasts the way I sometimes wish I
could cut loose with my neighbor’s mutts. That’s right ladies and germs, the
chainsaw you see her toting on the cover absolutely comes into play in the
issue, it might be, if forced to pick, the only co-star I can identify. She
viciously saws away at her would-be predators until they’re but mince-meat, of
course, then she has to deal with all the zombies! Luckily her battle is
interrupted with the fortunate news that she doesn’t actually belong in Hell,
and what luck, the messenger knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who
knows a way out. By the way, the messenger is the Devil, good f*cking luck!
Juan Ryp may be on the verge of mainstream success, but with his work firmly
rooted in the realm of the creator-owned comic I’ve grown to love his linework
more and more each time I’m exposed to it. His work is a joy to witness; he
densely packs detail into each panel, sometime more than most comics fit into a
series of panels, or a whole page. His ability to render lush landscapes that
are simultaneously intriguing and disgusting, especially the hellish
surroundings of “Nancy in…”. I can’t say I’m familiar in the slightest with El
Torres, but I dig the idea, and the approach, so I’m down for the full ride;
I’ll be keeping an eye out to see if anything else comes out of this seemingly
‘new’ guy. |
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MARVEL UNIVERSE VS PUNISHER #1 (OF 4)
|
Writer:
Jonathan Maberry
Artist:
Goran Parlov |
Reviewer:
"Sweet" Dan Sweet
|
Publisher:
Marvel Comics
Shipped On:
080410
|
MSRP:
$3.99 each
(15% OFF during it's 1st Week of release only at Alternate Reality!)
|
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MARVEL'S SYNOPSIS:
|
The creative team of Jonathan Maberry and Goran Parlov take you on a journey
into the darkest territory in this Marvel Knights limited series. A terrible
plague has swept the Earth, turning everyone - human, hero, villain, god and
monster - into sadistic cannibal predators. As Spider-Man, the Hulk, the Thing
and other infected start a feeding frenzy, the world falls in a wave of
insatiable violence. Now, five years later, one man hunts the wasteland that was
New York City. One man stands against the hordes of monsters who hunt the night.
He is the Punisher, the Last Gun on Earth. And he has an endless supply of
ammunition. |
SWEET DAN'S REVIEW:
|
This kind of a comic book, this exercise in the
‘What If/Elseworlds’ style of story telling, is nothing new, it’s the sort of book that
could easily be over-looked; I mean, didn’t we just see this type of story in
the once-great-but now-defunct “Marvel Zombies” series of series? Sure, they
never featured the Punisher as he guns down your favorite heroes, but the gist
of it, one moment the heroes are fine and saving the world, the next Spider-Man
is ripping the Rhino’s throat out with his teeth in front of a live studio
audience, comes off a bit derivative, but only as a plot device, everything else
doesn’t feel nearly as forced.
Despite the best of intentions, its Frank Castle’s sledgehammer-like finesse
that ultimately caused this disaster of global proportions. Who knew to massacre
a gang of Russian Mafia-types was to sign the death warrant on the ENTIRE
planet? Certainly not The Punisher, he’s much too dense to foresee the problem
with opening fire on what could possibly be a ‘suitcase nuke’, or some sort of
dirty bomb. It was actually a biological agent, smuggled in the pockets of the
Russian gangsters, and when the armor-piercing rounds shredded any safety
precautions, well, madness ensues. Frank inhales what would normally be
considered a lethal dose, except he isn’t changed into some sort of deranged,
blood-thirsty, lunatic, instead he develops an immunity; this makes him not only
responsible for creating the whole, ugly mess, but ultimately the only one who
may be able to resolve it…by murder!
The book opens with Frank killing Deadpool, for the 33rd time, and I must say,
I’d have been alright with 48 pages of just THAT. Once Frank starts spilling the
beans as far was what actually got him into this mess, himself, the story starts
rolling. It’s all back-story, but it gets you up to speed on how the outbreak of
the rabies-like virus spread from hero to villain to human to child without any
sort of discretion. In the present, Frank is on the hunt for a guy called Zero;
whether this is ‘Patient Zero’ meaning Spider-Man, or if it’s actually Zero, the
weird, teleporting mutant from “X-Force” (Vol. 1) is yet to be seen, but I’m
guessing it’s the former rather than the latter.
Parlov is great at illustrating Frank Castle, and his ability to move seamlessly
through the transitions between the good-old-days, with a slightly subdued
penciling style, to the current gritty atmosphere of a post-apocalyptic (maybe a
little dramatic) wasteland is flawless. He also inks his own pencils, and for
once I think he’s better off for it. Lee Loughridge’s colors set a tone that
takes an otherwise depressing story about loss and responsibility and injects
emotion whenever possible, even if it’s just Frank writing in his journal as the
sun sets, or the cold grey feeling that creeps into your heart as bear witness
to his execution of an American icon.
Coming off the sleeper-hit of the summer, “Doomwar”, Maberry has earned my trust
as a fledgling comic writer. I was eagerly anticipating this series, even if I
wasn’t sure what to expect. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out in ten or so
years that this is what they had in mind for the Marvel Zombie universe, except
they jumped the shark with that idea years ago. Why not repackage it, and trot
it out for all to see as an entirely new idea, albeit reliant on certain themes
established in other series. The idea of the Punisher trapped in a
zombie/cannibal wasteland doesn’t hold a million possibilities, so anybody
sticking around for a happy ending is gonna be let down, I’m almost sure of it.
He’s either gonna kill all the bad guys and die slowly and alone, or they’re
gonna eat him…I just can’t wait to see which one it is! |
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All Books/Characters pictured herein are © Copyright 2010 by their respective
owners. No rights given or implied by Alternate Reality, Incorporated.
Reviews © 2010 Alternate Reality, Inc.
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